Stupid I am

I'm so sad, i lost my wordpress user :( i really like my name to use for all the usernames 'miekeintan', but i lost it aaa~~ i just wanna to delete the user, then join again using that username. But, i didnt read if i delete it is a permanently. Somebody help me! How to get back that user? I want miekeintan.wordpress.com again. And if you know how to get back the user due to delete permanently, please leave your comment here or send me email at miekeintan@gmail.com i really need your help, dude. Thanks for reading :)